Black Expressions

Mind over matter. I woke up today claiming that today was going to be a good day. I got up early to attend a family member's wedding. It was a lovely, intimate ceremony. I felt great about the union and had a wonderful time all around.

When I got home, I checked my emails. There was an email from my editor. She informed me that my upcoming novel, Divorcing the Devil, had been picked up by Black Expressions Book Club. Through Black Expressions, it will be available in hardback. I was elated! Thank God for the blessing!

Book Tour

I'm so excited about my upcoming book tour. My tour dates are below. I hope to see you!

April 20 -- Entrepreneurs with Vision, Purpose and Power Networking Meeting, 4336 Covington Hwy, Suite 206, Decatur, GA 30085 3:00 p.m.
April 28 -- Black Authors Network Internet Radio Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network 8:00-10:00 p.m.
April 29 -- Official Release Date for Divorcing the Devil
April 30 -- In My Pajamas Radio Show Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/In-My-Pajamas-Show/ 9:30-10:30 p.m.
May 3 -- Kana's Books & CD's Book Signing for Divorcing the Devil, 2541 Franksway Avenue , Columbus, OH 2:00-4:00 p.m.
May 3 -- Radio Interview in OH, 7:00 p.m.
May 4 -- Sunday Brunch and Books, Mr. Hyman's Fine Dining, 107 E. First Street
Dayton, OH 45402, 1:00-4:00 p.m.
May 10 -- Book Release Party for Divorcing the Devil, Gallery Bistro, 4225 Snapfinger Woods Dr., Decatur, GA 30035, 4:00-7:00 p.m.
May 13 -- Ferguson Literary Hour Radio Interview http://www.artistfirst.com/ 7:15-7:45 p.m.
May 16-18 -- Third Annual Virtuous Woman Book Retreat, Wild Dunes Island Resort in Charleston, SC
May 28 -- Mind, Body and Soul Retreat TBD
May 31 -- Presenter for Online Writers Conference, Topic: Networking, Marketing and Publicity 9:30-10:15 a.m.
June 5-7 -- First Lady Conference, Fairmont Hotel, Dallas, TX
July 26 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Philadelphia, PA 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 6-8 --Dancing Preachers 2008 International Conference, Hilton Atlanta
255 Courtland Street NE, Atlanta, Georgia 30303
August 9 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Greensboro, North Carolina 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 14-17 -- Faith and Fiction Retreat, Destin, FL
August 23 -- Divas of Literature Tour, New York, NY 12:00-4:00 p.m.
September 6 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Detroit, MI 12:00-4:00 p.m.

Divorcing the Devil Book Video

Divorcing the Devil Book Release Party

We're counting down the days before the official release of Divorcing the Devil on April 29, 2008. Divorcing the Devil made the Top 25 Black Christian Book Distributors Independent Publishers Bestsellers List! In celebration of this momentus occasion, we're having a book release party unlike any other. On Saturday, May 10, 2008 from 4:00-7:00 p.m., we're having a book signing, fashion show, entertainment and dinner at the Gallery Bistro, metro Atlanta's premier banquet and event facility. The dress code: wear all black!

For additional information and to secure your ticket, please visit www.dwanabrams.com.

I made a bestsellers list!

I'm so excited. A friend of mine called me from Ohio to tell me that my books, Only True Love Waits and Divorcing the Devil, are on the Top 25 Black Christian Small-Independent Publishers Bestsellers List (Fiction). I was even more delighted when I saw the author, Darn Oldham, who is signed to my publishing company, Nevaeh Publishing, on the list, too! Yippee! Here's the link, http://www.blackchristiannews.com/bcbdbestseller.html, but I also pasted the list below.

The Top 25 Black Christian Small-Independent Publishers Bestsellers List (Fiction)
(Based upon Amazon.com rankings, BarnesandNoble.com rankings, and BlackCBD.com rankings.)
For the Week of March 16, 2008 through March 22, 2008.

1. From the Extreme, by Renea Collins
2. Troubles Won't Last Always, by Michelle Taylor
3. Me, Myself and Him, by E.N. Joy
4. Dance to Destiny, by Sherri Lewis
5. Something on the Inside, by T.N. Williams
6. Battle Of Jericho, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
7. Me Time, by P. M. Morris
8. Happily Ever Now, by Nicole Rouse
9. Keeping Misery Company, by Michelle Larks
10. In Greene Pastures by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
11. Soon and Very Soon, by Sherryle Kiser Jackson
12. Guilty of Love, by Pat Simmons
13. Secret Sisterhood, by Monique Miller
14. Louisa, by Richard Emmel
15. The Midnight Clear, An Anthology, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
16. Love Me to the Altar, by Tamika Johnson-Hall
17. He's Fine...But Is He Saved?, by Kimberley Brooks
18. Expectations by Toni V. Lee
19. The Twelfth Window, by Jennifer M. Norwood
20. The First Lady-Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, by Mikasenoja
21. The Rose of Jericho, by Vanessa Davis Griggs
22. Only True Love Waits, by Dwan Abrams
23. Scent of an Angel, by Darn Oldham
24. The Divine Order, by Tina R. Newsome
25. Divorcing the Devil, by Dwan Abrams

Writers Wanted

Nevaeh Publishing is expanding its line. We are currently accepting manuscripts for the following fiction genres: African-American, contemporary, mystery/suspense, inspirational, romance, women’s, multi-cultural and young adult.

We are not interested in receiving manuscripts for: science fiction (Sci-Fi), fantasy, erotic romance, erotica, poetry, illustrated children’s books or non-fiction.

Fiction manuscript word length: range of approximately 65,000 - 100,000
Manuscript pages: Range of approximately 260-350

If your manuscript is polished and meets the aforementioned criteria, please see below.

1) Please submit a one-page synopsis and the first three chapters of the manuscript only. Submissions should be typed, not handwritten, and double-spaced using a size 12 font (Times New Roman, Arial or Courier). Each page should be numbered and contain the author’s name and title in the header.

2) The cover page should contain the author’s name, address, phone number, email address and the title of the submission.

3) Please include a self-addressed postage paid envelope so that your manuscript may be returned to you if necessary. Otherwise, submissions Nevaeh Publishing does not wish to consider for publication will be destroyed.

4) Please allow three to six months from the date of submission to be informed whether or not we wish to review and consider the full manuscript. If interested, the complete manuscript will be requested. The full manuscript should not be submitted unless requested.

Mail submissions to:

Nevaeh Publishing, LLC
P.O. Box 962
Redan, GA 30074-0962

Note: Do not email submissions without prior approval. For additional information, please visit www.nevaehpublishing.com.

Blog Tour with Victorya Michaels Rogers

Finding true love, as I delved into ONLY TRUE LOVE WAITS, is far from an easy road. Men, in fact people, are not always what they appear to be. What is a single woman to do? Having been there, done that, dating coach and author of THE AUTOMATIC 2nd DATE, Victorya Michaels Rogers has the answers and has set out to take the anxiety and fear out of dating for single ladies on their journey to their true love that waits. Here are her answers to some dating questions I posed to her:

DWAN: Victorya, how can one back on the dating scene after a long absence adopt a hopeful attitude?

VICTORYA: Before you jump back into the world of dating allow yourself time to heal and reflect on where you’ve been. What was missing in your past love life? This is your season to really make it all about you. Love yourself first and deliberately pursue the life you always wanted! If you’re a single mom, obviously you need to seriously consider the needs of your children. But you also have to take care of you and come up with what you really want in a relationship before you start dating again. If you don’t know what you want then you’ll just date whoever takes notice and most likely that is was your problem in the past. You are valuable deserve to have a great relationship. But you have to believe that and know to recognize him when is comes along!

DWAN: You say every woman has an internal “Male GPS.” What is it and how do we use it?

VICTORYA: Available men are everywhere -- at the drive-thru, at work, at school, at church, at restaurants, at the mall, the gas station, sporting events, etc. You just have to know what you’re looking for and believe he exists. The Male GPS –male global positioning satellite—is in your mind. Your mind is an extremely power instrument that is always working and wants to be right! We are just bombarded with so much constant information we have to focus to notice anything. When you think about something enough, amazingly it seems to begin appearing everywhere you go. Let’s talk cars as an example. If you want that new blue Honda SUV, of course you believe it exists, and it’s on your mind, so it suddenly stands out every time one drives by. Just like thinking of your next car, think about what kind of guy you want.

The key to finding your next 1st date begins with your mind. You can instantly turn on your internal MALE GPS by figuring out specifically what you’re looking for in a guy, visualizing a man with those traits and believing he exists.

DWAN: In Automatic 2nd Date you list many unique places to meet men. Tell us a few.

VICTORYA: I advise skipping bars and clubs and just plunging yourself into the social world around you—be it at your church, country club, charity, or a special-interest group at your community center. As you interact with more and more people, you will automatically find yourself around — and introduced to — available men.

DWAN: You say the three-second flirt is a great way to get noticed. How does it work?

VICTORYA: FLIRT with him! Find someone who catches your eye? I have a lot of dating tips in The Automatic 2nd Date. One of them is to make sure you catch his eye. Eye contact is huge! Next time you’re in a “target rich environment” of potential dates, slowly scan the room with calm, soft eyes, resting your eyes briefly on any man who captures your attention, and then casually glance for a bare ring finger. If the finger is bare, lock into a gaze for your three-second flirt... Add a slight smile or grin, and then casually look away. You can repeat it several times to get your point across if you’d like. Just be aware that any longer than a 5 second glance at a time borders on creepy. And you don’t want that.

DWAN: What’s wrong with accepting last minute dates?

VICTORYA: The first 2 dates are when you establish how you expect to be treated without telling him how you want to be treated! If he calls you at the last minute, say something like “I’d love to, but I’ve just got something else going. How about a rain check?” I don’t care if you’re home doing your laundry. He doesn’t need to know. You’re just not available at the last minute. By this, you’re establishing that you’re worth calling early and you’re worth paying money for a date (even if they’re only buying you coffee). They’re making an effort to spend money on you, because they want to spend quality time with you.”

DWAN: What are some definite “Do’s” to keep in mind on first dates?

VICTORYA: Here are my five top “Do’s”: 1) Look your best, 2) Put your best self forward, 3) laugh with him, 4) flatter him, look at him, and especially 6) listen to him. I always recommend asking your date a lot of questions about him then truly listening to his answers. He is his own favorite subject, so he’ll be sure to have a great time and besides you WANT the information he reveals so you can figure out if you two are a match long before you are emotionally involved.

DWAN: Are there any definite “First Date Don’ts” to ensure a 2nd date?

VICTORYA: Oh my, there are definitely some First Date Don’ts! 1st dates are about holding back. Use RESTAINT and self- control across the board if you want your first date to become a 2nd date. That goes for whatever you say and whatever you do. Here are my top 7 Don’ts for First Dates.
--Don’t dress sleazy
--Don’t talk too much
--Don’t go off on past relationships
--Don’t reveal hatred for the male species
--Don’t expose enormous debt
--Don’t tell him he’s THE ONE
And definitely
--Don’t put out on that first date!

DWAN: How does buying your man gifts hurt your relationship without you knowing it?

VICTORYA: Buying your man expensive gifts puts pressure on him, especially on Valentine’s Day. You want your man to feel like the pursuer, not the chased! Make any gift you give him more about the thought than the price tag and never out give your man. If he can’t afford to reciprocate he’ll feel he’s not good enough for you and leave. If he can reciprocate but doesn’t want to, he’ll feel pressured and leave. It’s a no win situation. So before marriage, think thoughtful and little in regards to gift giving and offer lots of gushy thanks when he gives YOU gifts.

DWAN: Do you have a website or blog with any of these tips for our audience to check out?

VICTORYA: Yes, my website has a lot of additional tips and advice for single moms! Check it out-- it’s www.mantokeep.com. You can also order my books learn about my coaching program. I hope I have encouraged you and helped you see that dating does NOT have to be overwhelming, scary and stressful. In fact, believe it or not, you can actually enjoy the process if you take the time to find out what you REALLY want in a man, sharpen your dating skills and protect your little ones hearts by NOT introducing them to dates until you KNOW this is a serious, potentially permanent relationship. There is so much information I’d love to impart to you to make dating less anxiety filled, so feel free to visit my site anytime and/or check out my books Finding a Man Worth Keeping and The Automatic 2nd Date. ________________________________________________

Victorya Michaels Rogers, Dating Coach, Author The Automatic 2nd Date

For a chance to win a copy of Victorya’s latest book, The Automatic 2nd Date, post your best or worst first date story. Good luck!

Best-Selling Author or Not

I'm feeling a little bit out of sorts right about now. I'm sure I'm going to step on some toes and hurt some feelings, but oh well, the truth needs to be told. Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of authors claiming to be "Best-selling Authors" when they haven't appeared on a single national bestsellers list. It's misleading to readers and insulting to authors who truly deserve to be called best-selling authors.

When authors appear on New York Times, USA Today, Essence, Publisher's Weekly or other national bestseller lists, those are distinctions that authors can boast about. And they should. Those authors are quick to state which list or lists they have appeared on because they can prove it. Great!

What's getting on my nerves is when self-published authors claim to be best-selling authors without stating the source to back up their claim. If they appeared on a bestseller's list at a local bookstore, Amazon.com, cushcity.com or someone's made up list, state that. Otherwise, it's misleading to just make a blanket statement about being a best-selling author.

What do you think?

Scent of an Angel Excerpt

One

She had three choices and a split-second to decide. Catch it, duck, or let it hit her in the face. Her sister, Ebony, must have calculated the distance before turning her back to the crowd gathered below and tossing it over her shoulder. Ebony's aim was surprisingly true. It was coming right at her head.

"Dang it!" she grunted under her breath from her attempted hiding place deep in back of the throng of eager women.

She raised her hand to protect her eyes. At the last instance, however, the woman standing to her right snatched the bridal bouquet out of the air.

"Copper Veronica Patterson," the woman chided, "you were just going to let it hit you. Weren't you? And you know Ebony was throwing it right at you."

"But I knew you were nearby, Pepper," Copper joked, "didn't want to deprive you."

"Yeah, right," Pepper said. "But thanks anyway." She jumped up and down a few times, whooping.

Copper looked up towards the balcony at her sister, who shrugged her shoulders and smiled, as Pepper's squeals of joy vibrated through the air.

Seeing Ebony wearing the wispy white wedding dress evoked memories that were still somewhat painful. It had been their mother's gown. A beautiful combination of satin and lace intricately embroidered with flowers and butterflies, which was originally made for and worn by Opal—their mother—some twenty-nine years ago. Finally, all three of her daughters: Copper, Mahogany and, now, Ebony, had worn it.

The three ceremonies had taken place in this very same spacious backyard of the house where they grew up, Opal's two-story, four-bedroom home in Stone Mountain, a suburb of Atlanta. The peach trees, flower garden and gazebo made a good backdrop for the occasion.

Two years ago, in 1992, when Copper had flown in for Mahogany's wedding, the sights and sounds of the affair had been even more disturbing. It was déjà vu. She had even expected to see Bobby, her ex-husband, slyly flirting with some of the attractive female guests.

At one point, she had to sneak away to her old bedroom to relieve herself of the anxiety she felt by sitting on the bed and hugging the Prince Charming doll she used to sleep and daydream with as a child.

Indeed, it was still her room, her sanctuary. All of her mementos and teenage belongings were there, just as she had left them. Copper felt so safe in that room. She had stayed up there weeping, thinking about her failed marriage, until she heard her mother's voice calling for her, which made her hurriedly fix her face, as she responded to Opal. She wiped away any remnants of tears, and rejoined the festivities with a fake smile as her countenance.

This time, at Ebony's nuptials, the pain wasn't quite as bad. She was stronger now. Sure, the memories came fleetingly, especially when she looked at her sister in that dress. She looked almost exactly as Copper had.

All three sisters stood around five foot eight inches. They had the same mane of dark sandy-brown hair with the widow's peak, deep dimples, full wide lips and light bronze complexion. Also, they had what others called, the "Patterson look." Big almond-shaped hazel-colored eyes, long curled lashes and the dark eyebrows with the fine hairs connecting them, which gave the girls and their mother—whose own mother was from Brazil—an exotic, determined look. When you threw in the tall, supple, hourglass figures, with the butts that made men turn and give them the once-over—twice, one could understand why there were a number of disappointed males at each sister's wedding.

There were almost two hundred guests milling around the sunny backyard at this one. The groom and his groomsmen were standing around the Jacuzzi in their powder-blue tuxedos, posing for the photographer, as the lilting tunes of the Jamaican steel band, set up over by the gazebo, filtered through the warm evening air.

Some of the guests were dancing, while others mingled and snacked on the seafood and fruit spread next to the champagne fountain on the long table against the fence. Everyone was conversing and enjoying the lovely June day. The thunderstorms the day before caused a little mugginess, but it was bearable with the warm breeze that glided over the backyard from time to time like a silk shawl brushing lightly against each person trying to find a place to settle down.

"Sorry, sis," Ebony said, walking up and embracing Copper.

"For what, Ebb?" Copper asked as they made their way over to the champagne and sparkling apple cider, amidst the well wishes that were showered upon the bride.

"The bouquet," she explained. "I was trying to get it to you. I didn't see your roomie standing there. Everyone knows that Pepper thinks she's getting older."

"We all are." Copper chuckled.

"You know what I mean. She thinks that if you're not married by the time you're thirty, you are over the hill, automatically washed up. And she's twenty-seven."

"I keep telling her she has a lot to learn," the twenty-eight year old responded as she picked up two full glasses, handing one to her sister, who was two years her junior and one year younger than Mahogany.

"Did you think about our father at your wedding, too?" the bride inquired, softly.

"Yes, I did, Ebb," admitted Copper. "I wondered if he knew… if he cared. I mean, Aunt Birdie was here, but, just like at my wedding and Mahogany's, too, she didn't even mention his name. There's something about the way she looks at us though. I can't put my finger on it."

Copper wondered whether Aunt Birdie, her dad's sister, had any information that would help them better understand why he left.

"I still find myself wishing that he was here," Ebony shared, wiping away a tear.

"I know." Copper put an arm around her younger sister's shoulder. "Anyway," she held her glass in the air and continued, "to the beginning of a new, wonderful life."

They clinked glasses and sipped the sparkling apple cider.

"Is it, sis?" Ebony asked, with a look so serious that Copper felt something pull at her heart even more. "Will it be wonderful?"

Before answering, Copper looked over at the groom, who was smiling and shaking hands with everyone in range, and she remembered how eight years ago Bobby, her groom, had hardly smiled at all.

"Yes, Ebb, I think Edward will make a very good husband. I believe you will be very happy together."

"Coming from you, Copp, that means a lot," Ebony acknowledged. "I know how psychic you can be sometimes. Boy, do I know. You told me that I would marry him someday when I first introduced you to Edward three years ago when you came back for my college graduation."

"Did I?"

"You did."

"Hmmm."

"How do you do it, sis?"

"Ebony, I really don't know. Sometimes I get these intuitive feelings. I used to ignore them when I was younger, and they stopped happening for a while. Then they started again, and I noticed that the more I heeded them, the more I would get them." She looked over Ebb's shoulder and saw their mother, Mahogany, and the photographer heading towards them. "Like, right now, I get the feeling that our picture is about to be taken."

Ebony turned and saw them, too.

"Oh, I'm beginning to get the hang of it now," she said as they both laughed.

"And what's so funny?" Mahogany inquired with a smile.

"The future," said Ebb, putting an arm around each sister.

"Let's hope you will be able to say that in the future," their mother said pointedly.

"Opal!" Copper reprimanded jokingly.

Anyone not knowing any better would think that the four of them were sisters. Opal was in her late forties, but still maintained the good looks and figure passed on to her daughters.

The photographer was very professional as he positioned them and took the pictures with the minimum of conversation. His eyes locked with Copper's at one point and suddenly she got the feeling that she knew him. Upon closer scrutiny she realized what it was. He slightly resembled her ex-husband. An inch shorter, perhaps, and more mature looking, but the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled was like her ex, and the square-jawed strong masculine look was how she envisioned Bobby would look in his thirties.

"Mommy, can we get in the pictures?" Copper turned to see her seven and a half-year old daughter, Tiffany, looking up at her. She was holding Mahogany's two-year old, Tanzia, by the hand.

"And who might you be?" the friendly photographer asked.

"My name is Tiffany," she replied proudly, "and who might you be?"

"My name is Doug," he answered, laughing at how grown up she appeared. "Which one of these ladies is your mother?"

"She is," the little girl pointed at Copper and went to stand beside her.

"And I know who your mommy is," Doug said to Tanzia.

"You sure do." Mahogany smiled, picking her up.

The photographer posed them all for several shots as Aunt Birdie stood behind him snapping her little camera.

"Wow," he admired. "Three generations of beautiful black women. And Mrs. Patterson, you are the prettiest grandmother I have ever had the privilege of photographing."

Opal beamed as Copper, Mahogany and Ebony looked at each other and smiled, shaking their heads.


The next morning Copper arose early. When they were growing up, Opal had taken them all to church every Sunday morning diligently. However, upon reaching adulthood, her sisters discontinued weekly services, although they still went occasionally. Copper, on the other hand, had carried on, even while in college. She belonged to Seekers—a non-denominational church of religious science in Washington, D.C. Whenever Copper was in Atlanta on a Sunday she attended services at Hillside, which had the same type doctrine.

When she mentioned to Tiffany that she would be going to church in the morning her daughter asked to go along. Tiffany was very bright in school. Copper wanted to expose her to different ideas to help her grow mentally.

They sat through the sermon on "Visualization" and immediately went to brunch downtown at the Hyatt on Peachtree Street. Then they decided to go to the zoo and finally back to Opal's house.

It was a lovely summer afternoon for some mother and daughter bonding. They didn't have the opportunity often. In fact, the last time just the two of them had gone out to eat together was over a year ago, the night that Copper got upset with Tiff for playing a trick on her. They were at a restaurant celebrating Tiffany's birthday, and Tiffany decided to play hide and seek without Copper's consent. That caused a momentary scare until the little girl reappeared.

This evening Copper would fly back to D.C. and Tiffany would, as usual, remain with Opal. As they were driving back to Stone Mountain, Copper asked the question that had been bothering her for a while. She was bothered because she felt guilty having to leave Tiffany. Due to her busy work schedule, Copper didn't have a whole lot of free time to spend with Tiff. For the best interest of her daughter, Copper made the difficult decision to allow Tiff to stay with Opal.

"Tiffany, do you mind living with Grandma?"

"No ma'am, I like it. All of my friends and relatives are here," she replied earnestly. "But you know, when the preacher this morning was saying how by visualizing what you want and believing that it will happen, you can make it so?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, Mommy," she said, turning to face her in the seat. "I can see myself living with you in Washington like you told me I'd do when I start high school. And I visualize us having a father living with us, too."

"Father? You mean your daddy?"

"Well, I know we haven't seen Daddy in years," the little girl went on. "And I know you always tell me that Daddy still loves me and that you like Daddy, but I don't think Daddy is the one I see. He's not coming back, and we don't want him back. Do we, Mommy?"

"No, baby, we don't," Copper agreed as her eyes watered with delight at the understanding of her little lady.

"So, Mommy, I'm going to visualize a new daddy. I'm going to keep visualizing until it happens, and we're going to be happily ever after. Okay, Mommy?"

"Okay, little girl," Copper acknowledged warmly, squeezing her small hand.

Copper welcomed the help. Ever since her divorce four years ago, she had been waiting for the right guy to come along. Somewhere out there she knew there had to be a man who would fall in love with her and that she could fall in love with… true love. The fairy-tale kind of love in which two people only have eyes for each other.

That happens in real life, she mused. There are couples like that, right? Everyone's not getting divorced. People do stay married, not just for convenience, but because they really love each other. There are black couples like that, aren't there? All black men don't up and leave, do they? They're not all like Bobby or her father, are they? No answers came with the questions. They just circled in her mind.

Ebony and Edward seemed to be deeply in love, she reflected, as do Mahogany and Joshua. But how long would that last? Her own marriage had lasted four years officially. She prayed that her sisters' would last much longer. And since their spouses were black men, too, she felt prayers were definitely going to be needed.

Even with the negativity she felt, however, she never said anything derogatory about her ex-husband to Tiffany. As a matter of fact, she made it a point to always speak of Bobby in an affectionate and positive manner. After all, he was her baby's daddy, even though he hadn't been enthused about that fact at the outset. His blood flowed through Tiffany's veins; she had his eyes and nose. Tiffany was proud to have a professional NFL football player as a father.

Copper tried to make sure that her little girl didn't suspect the bitterness she felt towards Bobby, her own father, and black men, period, for that matter.


"Doug called here twice for you," Mahogany informed her as Copper walked into the den, where her sister was watching the NBA playoffs. "I told him that you took Tiffany to church this morning. How long have you been back?"

"I just got here. I didn't want to block you in, so I parked on the street. And who is Doug?"

"You know, the photographer from the wedding yesterday," Mahogany reminded her. "Where's Tiff?"

"She's walking up the street with Moms and Tanz. Why is this Doug guy calling for me?" Copper inquired, slightly annoyed. Overly aggressive men were a definite no-no to her. "And how did he get this number?"

"He's had this number for several years now. He's an old friend of Joshua's," Mahogany replied, referring to her husband. "As a matter of fact, he photographed my wedding. You don't remember him?"

"Hoggy, that was two years ago. I had other things on my mind. Why is he calling me?" She tilted her head slightly to the side.

"There you go leaning your head," Hoggy noted, knowing that meant Copper was beginning to get angry. "Why do you think he called, Copp? I guess he's interested in talking to you. I mean, it's not as if he's desperate with those light-brown caramel eyes and a smile to die for. When they say tall, dark and handsome, they're talking about Doug Kenner."

"T, D and H is all right, but. . ." Copper started.

"T, D and H?" Mahogany interrupted.

"Tall, dark and handsome."

"Oh, I forgot. You live in alphabet city now: D.C., CIA, FBI, HEW, GNP, HUD, BLT…"

"Okay, okay." Copper laughed. "You got me that time. BLT, that's funny. But anyway, having good looks is fine, but a man has to have more than that."

"Hey, he's got more than that. He has a great personality. Besides being a good photographer, he's very witty. He's good to people, and as the word goes, he really knows how to turn a woman on, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean."

"I mean he goes past foreplay to five-play."

"What? Who could have possibly told you something like that?" Copper wanted to know.

"I heard it through the grapevine."

"Well, you'd better believe that I'm not going to go out with someone who is being talked about like that."

"Don't pre-judge. Give him a chance. He should be calling back soon. I told him to try back in an hour. He said he just wanted to speak to you before you left tonight for D.C. By the way, are Ebony and Edward going to stop off there on their way back from the Bahamas?"

"Yes, that's what they said last night. I want to think of something special to do for them."

"You'll come up with something."

"I know, but you know how I like to plan things out. At any rate, I'm going upstairs to pack while Tiffany is outside."

"Are you going to talk to Doug when he calls?"

"I have to think about that," she called out, halfway up the stairs.

Actually, she was going to give it more thought than Mahogany would ever imagine. Copper had been celibate since her last sexual encounter with her husband, which was more than a year before her divorce was finalized, an abstention of over five years. Her ex-husband, combined with her spiritual beliefs, was actually the reason she began practicing celibacy. When rumors about his unfaithfulness started reaching her ears, she had stopped having sex with him. She wasn't sure how long her abstention would last, but prayer and faith got her through. Initially, not having sex was difficult, so she prayed that God would remove the desire until she was married, again.

In fact, Bobby was her one and only sexual partner. During the first couple of years after her break-up with Bobby, she went out on various dates. She had even dated one guy, Thomas, for ten months. He was considered one of the most eligible black bachelors in D.C., but there was a barrier and it was high. Although Thomas seemed to be a good catch, he didn't respect her decision to abstain. Instead, he took it as a personal challenge to get her to give in. Rather than compromise her beliefs, she broke up with him.

That was when she concluded there was another side to her personal problem. Not only did she need to de-bond herself from the memories of Bobby, but she had other memories that caused her pain also. Memories of a father who deserted her, memories of incidents that were recounted when her girlfriends sat around bashing black men, memories of things her husband put her through with the gossip of his disloyalty. Plus, she was affected by the prevalent negative images of black men that was being perpetuated in the media.

She had always felt that Copper Patterson deserved more, deserved better. She wanted the best that life had to offer, for herself and for her daughter. No more heartaches or headaches. She had been toying with this course of action before, so she made a decision… to de-bond herself from black men. She would suppress any inclination to get involved with them anymore on a serious basis. Maybe that was why she had been having such a hard time finding someone. Maybe her subconscious mind was trying to steer her away from the brothers. Her job had indoctrinated her to the professional white world of Washington, D.C.

Okay, she vowed, she was going to heed her subconscious mind. She decided that her next meaningful relationship was going to be with a Caucasian, when the right one came along. Black men, with their hang-ups, would be put on the back burner.

A few weeks after breaking it off with Thomas, she was in Atlanta for Mahogany's wedding. There was a full moon the night of the ceremony, and the reception was in full blast.

Earlier that day she had met friends and co-workers of Joshua, the groom. Jonathan "Buck" Buckner was one of them. A good-looking, but slightly nerdy, white guy, who happened to be at the foot of the stairs and saw her wiping tears from her eyes after being up in her room wondering if her Prince Charming would ever come.

Buck appeared to be so concerned, kind, and understanding as they went out to the backyard and sat in the gazebo and talked. She felt so vulnerable and weak. Looking back, she imagined that must be how it felt to talk to a therapist. Copper talked about herself, and then he shared a little about his life, and she grew comfortable with him. It seemed only natural to exchange phone numbers and make plans to have dinner together the next day.

After dinner they went to his condo, which was usually a no-no since she had just met the guy. But she took a chance. The music was right, and she felt very relaxed. She distinctly remembered that there was a full moon, because she had always heard that strange things happened during full moons. This particular evening she acted in a way that was uncharacteristic of her usual self.

Before she knew it, Buck was kissing her. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the passionate kiss. Buck's hands began to caress intimate parts of her body. She felt herself becoming turned on. Even though she initially felt pleasure, guilt suddenly overtook her. She regained her senses and gently pushed him back.

"I'm not ready for anything like that. Okay?" she announced with a friendly, but firm look.

Licking his lips, he said, "Your kisses sure taste sweet." He wiped the corners of his mouth. "Okay," he gave in reluctantly, "we'll have plenty of time."

Copper didn't know what he based his comment on. Even though it had been years since having sex with her husband, she refused to give in to temptation. When she had sex again, she would be married. The evening had ended with Buck dropping her back off at Opal's house.

"Copper, it's for you!" Mahogany yelled, interrupting Copper's thoughts.

"I'll take it up here," she answered, shaking her head at her sister's teasing tone as she picked up the bedroom phone. She waited until she heard her hang up downstairs before she continued, "Hello?"

"Hello, babe," said the masculine voice on the other end.

Right away it registered whose sound it was. "Hi, Buck," she said with a little vexation. "Now, you know I don't like that term 'babe.'"

"Well now, you know I don't mean anything by it," he began as an abrupt tone was heard in Copper's ear, indicating another call was coming in. "Is that you?" he asked.

"Of course, hold on please," she requested, quickly depressing the switch-hook for a split second to get the other call. "Hello?"

"Hello," a deeper male voice greeted. "Is Copper in?"

"She's speaking."

"Hi, this is Doug," he continued. "Are you on another call?"

How did he know? she wondered. "Yes, I am. Can you hold for a second?"

"Most definitely," he assured, as she clicked back to Buck.

"Buck?" she asked as she did so.

"It's me, babe-uh, I mean, uh, Copper," he acknowledged. "Tell me, what time are you leaving tonight? I want to get together with you."

"Let me get back to you on that," she responded. "I have another call right now."

"Okey-dokey, I'm at home. You have the number. Call me right back."

"Will do, bye." She clicked back to Doug. "Hello?"

"I'm still here," he said. "I could have called you back."

"No, they were ready to get off the phone anyway."

"Tell me," he inquired. "Why do females always say they when they mean he?"

Copper chuckled. "Do we do that?"

"All the time."

"What do men do?"

"When we say they, we mean they. When we mean she, we say she. At least that's what this man does."

"Hmmm, I guess men don't care if their business gets in the streets and women do," Copper reasoned.

"To me, stating the gender of the person I'm talking to on the phone is not putting my business in the streets." He chuckled. "Now, more personal things are something I would be more discreet about. But using they in that instance indicates something, and could be construed as being ashamed or disrespectful to him, her or it, whoever you were referring to."

"My, you're very opinionated," she noted, withdrawing somewhat.

"I'm sorry." Doug relaxed then changed subject. "Mahogany tells me you're leaving late tonight."

"Yes, I have to punch in early tomorrow morning."

She felt the question coming, but she still had no idea what her answer would be. What were Doug's intentions?

"I know you don't know me, but your brother-in-law is one of my very best friends. Both he and your sister can vouch that you'll be safe with me."

"Okay, I believe you," she said with an inner chuckle. "My sister did speak very highly of you."

"Really? What did she say?"

"She said that you were a nice guy," she related.

"See? So with that in mind, I was wondering if I could take you out for a bite to eat this afternoon," he went on.

"What do you like to eat?" she asked.

"Mexican, Italian, Chinese. . . "

"What about soul food?" she wanted to say.

"…soul food," he went on.

"Now you're talking!" She broke in, suppressing the laughter.

"Really? You want soul food?"

"I'll leave it up to you." She smiled and then said seriously, "But why?"

"Why?" He was caught off guard, she noted. "Because, because I saw you, I heard about you for years and I would like to talk to you, get to know you," he recovered.

There was total silence.

"Hello?" he called.

"I'm thinking," Copper announced. And she was. She felt that de-bonding herself from black men was essential if she was going to have a meaningful relationship with someone white. But it didn't mean she couldn't have black male friends. This guy seemed nice, she mused. She didn't know what he wanted, but she knew what he wasn't going to get.

"Hello?" Doug re-called.

"Doug?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"How soon can you be here?" she queried with a smile.

"I ain't there yet?" was his rejoinder as they laughed and hung up.

Scent of an Angel by Darn Oldham
Available October 2007
Visit www.nevaehpublishing.com

The Deceptive Practices of Love (Article)

How do you overcome the betrayal of infidelity? There is no right or wrong answer, because the decision is solely yours to make. Once coming to terms with the fact that “he cheated on me” or in some cases she, some people choose to leave after a loved one has been unfaithful. Others, in an effort to salvage the relationship, stay. Many factors must be considered before throwing in the towel or hanging on in there.

Deciding what to do when your world seems to be falling apart is difficult to do. In the midst of your broken heart, here are some sensible questions you can ask yourself. Are there children involved? If so, how will the situation affect them one way or another? If you decide to remain in the relationship, will you be able to protect the children from arguments or a loveless relationship? On the contrary, if you end the relationship, are you prepared emotionally, spiritually, and financially?

Remaining in a relationship once the covenant has been desecrated takes courage and commitment. Inexorably you will question your decision. However, there are ways to restore trust. The person who committed the transgression must be willing to deal with the consequences of his or her actions. For example, they may be required to give up some of their freedom and privacy so that you can feel more secure. The injured party may request access to cell phones, pagers, e-mails, and whereabouts. And the offending party must be prepared to accommodate those requests in order to re-establish trust and restore the relationship.

The choice to end a relationship due to infidelity is difficult. As a result of the break-up, depression, anxiety, stress, and financial hardships are very real possible outcomes. However, you can bounce back. Regardless of what you decide to do, the road to recovery will be a rocky one. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling from a trained professional. Counseling is not a sign of weakness or failure, because maintaining your well-being is important. Dealing with your emotions honestly is therapeutic in itself. You must acknowledge your feelings, because they are valid. Then you must make a concerted effort to forgive the past, remain faithful in the present, and have a fruitful future.

Copywritten by Dwan Abrams